– Hello. My name is Tamar and I have no idea actually what to say about myself – standing in the audition, having no clue about the stuff that goings on around. It was the first day of university and it felt like it was the most terrible day of my life. Once I decided to enter the other university, supervisors just decided to make it stop admitting freshmen. I had to change my mind and enter the university where I am now and which is called UG. After a month or two I’ve just figured out that I was in the wrong place, the school of social sciences was the biggest mistake of me and that I have no idea why I had made such bullshit choice. My friend told me: I was like you, I was so confused but then, time by time, I had to adapt the situation around and become used to it.
Though every my day is an attempt to get used to the situation which ends with a fail a day, I am so fed up with these issues. However, I am going to talk you about the other discovery I have made by myself for now.
Ok, you guess the relationship between UG and me, but could I say that the university is such terrible? Of course, not. I would say I am the only problem there with even the lack of personality. I am stuck in two different sides, have no confidence and respect for myself. If one asks for biggest losers in the world I would get the champion degree there. Anyways, I have had to emphasize the fact in order you to easily figure out the situation. The story should have started so: I have deleted my Facebook account .
I decided to delete the account because i wanted to be cooler. Don’t ask me why. I listened to Ted talks and read some articles about the people who had given up the social media and i was pretty inspired and motivated to act so. While I had the period of getting used to living without Facebook, I discovered some pretty weird things in people’s behavior.
When I finished the first week of university and met each person of the school, I started feeling unbelievably odd. I was trying to talk to mates but the relationship between them and me was too strange as well as the relationship between them. I was seeing these pretty confident people trying not to give a sheet about essential topics and each other. Their face was telling you to go off or you would be suffered from the unfinishing staring one would sentence you for your entire life. Ok, I didn’t care, I was used to being people so strange. But. BUUUUT. One day my English lecturer asked me to see the files he had uploaded in the FB group, I had to sing in again and when I did it, I was shocked. People from my faculty were commented to each other so unbelievable texts as if they all were soul-mates and adored each other so freaking much. The main issue I want to figure out is that is it possible not to know one’s real character in real life and be in love with him\her in Fb posts? I am really confused as far as I figured out that I had been living in lie for so long and all the people I thought were so close to me, turned out to be outsiders, strangers.
My friends tell me: why are you such weirdo? Can’t you be normal? Can’t you have an account as one of us? But sorry, I cannot and I had better be outside of this freaking world rather than waste time in doing nothing to become nothing for nothing.
So, from now, all I know is that I must find goals and die for them. The struggle social media gave me is now destroyed and I am becoming cooler as well as my life. By the way, the main reason why I started writing blog is that I want to change all my life and become Kai tipi(a cool guy as Georgians say) ASAP.